Death is an inevitable outcome of life. We all know this. But still, the acceptance of death is very difficult. At some point in our lives, we all have lost someone dear to us. Sometimes when we are very close to the person we have lost we experience grief, sorrow, pain, anger and several other terrible feelings. In my personal experience, I find dealing with the death of a pet much more traumatic than dealing with the death of a human from family. I am not claiming this as a fact because attachment is a very personal affair. I am personally a very shy individual and always had a very deep emotional bond with my pets rather than other family members. So this work is more about how I dealt with the death of a pet. By writing this I am hopeful that it would be at least a little help to people who are fighting over with depression and anxiety caused by the death of a pet.
Acceptance for the death of a pet.
I know that in the first couple of weeks this will be the most difficult thing to acknowledge. To accept that your beloved dog, cat, horse or any other pet has gone forever and you won’t be able to play with them, talk to them and enjoy their presence is the biggest step you would be going to take. I don’t know how to describe this or enlist some procedure for this. I am no Psychological expert neither have I ever taken any counselling to cope with the loss, but I strongly feel that if they are available at arm’s length and you feel you need to get it all out, you should consider talking to a professional counsellor. I didn’t have an option when I first encountered the death of a pet. I remember it was a little kitten. That kitten was a stray and I saved it from dogs in front of our house. This happened back in the year 1998. We called him “puss”.
He soon became a centre of attention of my whole family. He used to sleep on my mother’s feet at night and in my lap during day hours. We also had a female German Spitz that I have mentioned in the very first of articles on this blog. They went along quite well. Used to eat in the same dish sometime sleep in the same bed.
He remained with us for about 8 months. Then suddenly he was taken away. In the night of Winters in month of December, I came back from my tutor’s home. When I open our front gate I doubted that there were a couple of dogs in the bushes. I went on to switch on porch lights and to my horror, there were two dogs standing right in the shade of our fence holding my kitten from head and legs.
I rushed towards them shouting. They ran away leaving puss in the mud.
When I saw him he was a bit elongated. I now understand what had happened to him but at that time I just took him inside and asked my mother “what they have done with him? ”
He was gasping and trembling.
He died within minutes after I took him inside. My father then said to me that he is no more and took him outside and buried him in our yard.
I couldn’t understand what had just happened and I blamed my mother to let him out in the dark. So silly of me.
I then cried whole night laying in my bathtub.
I now have acceptance of such events in a more mature manner but at that time I wish I had someone to help me understand.
I was saddened by the event for a very long time. I felt anger and frustration that I was not able to save him.
But slowly in a couple of weeks, life got back on track after I accepted that he is gone and he is never coming back.
Had he left completing his life it would have been easier to accept his departure. Nevertheless, after accepting his death and forgiving myself I not remember how he used to tease my other pets. How he purred and cuddled, how he played with jute rope and sponge ball, how he ran all over the place with cotton on his mouth and so many other happier memories. Acceptance helped me remember the good times more than his death and taught me to take precautions in the future. So, my friend, acceptance is the key to move on. Do it!
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